


No other body than mine

by Balbero



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Biting, Canon Compliant, Episode: s07e02 Hello Cruel World, M/M, Manpain, Mention of Canonical Character Death, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 17:29:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Balbero/pseuds/Balbero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t know, it’s like coming back from a bad dream, you still feel like you are trapped in it.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	No other body than mine

**Author's Note:**

> So I translated an old fic of mine from my ffnet account. It takes place during season 7, after 07x02 when Castiel dissolves from the leviathans.  
> It is surprisingly still Canon compliant though, if you consider it takes place before 07x21, when they find Kevin.  
> Also beware the angst, because it is full of it, I warned you.

Dean was sitting on a bench, recollecting his memories he had of Castiel whom he would never see again. This moron died thinking himself as God and Dean was angry at the angel for being so proud, he was angry at himself for not noticing earlier what was happening, he was angry at Sam for his indifference after Castiel’s death, he was angry at everyone and nobody. He just wanted to be alone and that’s why he had left his little brother sleeping in a shady motel room while he disappeared inside the nearest bar. But the drinking establishments closed early in any liable god forsaken hole, that’s why he was by himself in a park since 2 a.m. trying to sober up.

He was thinking about going back to the motel when he heard a light noise coming from the trees behind him. He moved quietly so as not to alert the individual he noticed their presence, he also wanted to be sure it was a monster to eviscerate and not a kitten or a kid trying to run away. When his eyes distinguished the form coming up to him, his blood turned to ice, he turned in one swift motion to make sure that it wasn’t a brief hallucination.

“Dean”

It was Castiel.

“Dean”

He shook his head, pinched himself ten times, but Castiel wasn’t disappearing. He even pronounced his name the same way the **real** Castiel used to do. Because it could only be an illusion, a mix of frustration and despair, stirred with an ounce of cheap whiskey. He couldn’t believe his eyes and when the thing in front of him called him for a third time “Dean”, he snapped in an insane laugh, he was crying and laughing at the same time, not sure on which emotion to settle.

It is when the thing started to move forward again that he decided on what he had to do. In a quick motion, he caught his gun and jumped on the creature, pinning it to the ground and pointing the weapon in what was supposed to be his face. The tormented face of Castiel. No! It was a shapeshifter, or something else, just not Castiel. But he was the spitting image of the angel, he seemed so real. Then again, Dean knew he wasn’t.

“You have five minutes to explain why you took this appearance before I spread your brain on the ground”

“Dean, it’s me”

“Four minutes and fifty seconds. You know what? You only have fifty seconds”

“Dean, I was saved from perdition once again, in a similar fashion as what happened after the battle against Lucifer”

Dean felt a cold shiver run through his spine.

“Prove it”

He rose up slowly, the gun still pointing toward… Castiel? He wasn’t convinced.

“How?”

“Find an idea, I’m way too drunk to search for one myself, but not enough to miss my shot”

The creature got up, the old trench coat was the same that the one in Dean’s mind, it was perfect, and that‘s what scared Dean.

“I am… sorry. I should never have lied to you, I thought I was doing a favor to humanity but I was wrong. I wanted to make you happy in a world where you wouldn’t have to fight your way through. I thought it was a battle that I could lead alone but I was mistaken. And when I felt all the souls inside me, Dean… I sensed their powers, all these unused powers, lost for centuries… no, for thousands of years, it possessed me. I was powerful! I was even more powerful than God but these powers were overwhelming and it consumed me from inside. I hate myself for making you go through all of this, you always believed in me and I thought I was protecting you, I failed and brought even more troubles than…”

Castiel stopped when Dean started pressing against him, keeping him from talking further. For ten minutes, Dean hugged Castiel’s body like a drowning man clutching a lifebuoy, he could not have escaped even if he had the mind to do it. All of a sudden, the hold had loosened and Castiel could hear a faint “Why?”. He was staggered. Why? He just explained himself. And then he heard it again, and again, each time a little louder and Dean letting more and more between them. When the hunter was facing him again, his expression was full of anger, he held his gun with both hands and was leveling it once again toward Castiel’s head.

“Why?”

Castiel opened his mouth again and that’s when everything collapsed. Dean let go of the gun and hurled a punch so violent he fell back. He couldn’t stop hitting, each blow punctuated with a “why”, each one more distressed than the last. Castiel tasted his own blood before sensing Dean’s tears on his face. The hits started to weaken and the cries rang out stronger. When Dean rested his fists against Castiel’s chest, he looked like a child whose dreams were shattered, sobbing softly. Castiel tried to calm him, wiping the tear tracks starting to dry on his cheeks.

“Come on…”

Dean’s lips suddenly pushed against his interrupted his train of thought. It was a wet kiss, salty, almost shy. Dean raised his upper body, he had ended up seating on Castiel’s torso during the fight and now he was watching with animosity and determination. He resumed the kiss, more violently this time, biting Castiel’s lips, tearing out bits of skin on his way, and thinking it was not enough, he started to land punches again, less violent than the lasts however.

Castiel was uneasy, he didn’t expect this kind of reunion. But Dean didn’t want to leave him any choice, he was pursuing the intense kiss, moving to his neck where he bit hard enough to let a painful bruise that would certainly turn purple in no time. He wanted to mark Castiel, leave a proof of his presence on his body. When he reached the chest, he tore the white shirt to ease his access. He caught a nipple between his teeth, playing and abruptly bit it, tearing out a wounded yell from Castiel.

The angel could feel Dean’s smile against his skin when he let out his scream. Then the other man changed his mind and started to lick slowly, like a quiet apology, but the pain was still there in Castiel’s mind. Dean rose slowly, licking each portion of skin he had maimed with his teeth till he reached Castiel’s mouth. He started to kiss him slowly, exploring the warmth with his tongue, discovering each corner like a first time, their teeth knocking against each other, tongues colliding. It was clumsy and painful, soft and pleasant, beautiful and terrible at the same time. When they stopped to find their breath back, Dean buried his face in Castiel’s bruised shoulder.

“Do you feel better?”

“I don’t know, it’s like coming back from a bad dream, you still feel like you are trapped in it.”

“Really? Maybe you should wake up then.”

“What…”

“Dean, we need to take the road. Wake up!”

Sam was shaking Dean vigorously who had slipped from the bench where he had sobered up all night. He was about to take a kick from his little brother but he managed to show signs of consciousness before being pounded.

“Next time you want to black out, do it at the motel, this way I won’t have to search for you.”

Dean opened his eyes fully, while his last vision of Castiel was fading from his mind, he started to distinguish the trees, the bench, his brother and at last his impala waiting quietly a little farther, always there when needed.

“What are we hunting today?”

“Vampires. Move your ass.”

While Dean stumbled toward the car, held by Sam, he was wondering if the monsters would be easy to kill and if they would be able to find a motel in a town where the bars would be open all night. After all, it was only the fifth time that Sam found him in this condition this week.

**Author's Note:**

> I guess you can call me M. Night Shyamalan, I'm not a fan of twists usually but it was fitting in my head when I wrote it.  
> Feel free to comment, constructive criticism is always appreciated.


End file.
